How to achieve a deeper relationship meaning?

Dear beloveds, I will address this topic the best way: 

What can be said about committing your life to someone, and getting formally together with somebody?

In my personal opinion, The first fact that should be a priority is to have strong built base and structure of that relationship by having oneness.

 When there is oneness you cognize that integrity, honesty in the communication is essential when deciding to unite or not. The integrity you can have with others is the integrity you have with yourself. when there is love and oneness there is by fact empathy, Always when there is love also empathy is present.

I can understand that in life any stuff can happen, and people get together by diverse other interests such as only looks, lust or money, or certain conveniences etc... and by those same reasons they breakup, but what I mean to express here is that in order to succeed in a relationship oneness=love=empathy  is crucial.

When you feel lust and you get together  just because of lust, after getting overwhelmed and satiated with that body, you may come to a break up and depression for lack of relationship deepness, and you may want to enjoy a new somebody.

When you feel greed and you get together because of monetary or socialite convenience you may suffer the emptiness, lack of love and soulfulness of life.

If you have to tell the other person how to treat you just let it go.

Also I can say that when you are seriously getting together with someone you treat them with respect and you add to their life, but your are not their coach or psychotherapist, you get together to share life. Usually it would be adequate that both vibrate similarly in the same tone.

When you get together because you are being loved but you lack self-love,  nothing is never enough.

Basically  what I want to clarify is that committing to someone seriously will be as serious as the loving commitment you have for yourself.

How can you explore the level of seriousness in the self-love you have for yourself?

Well, I will explain based on my experience, Since around five years ago I decided to get conscious over myself care and heal my physical and emotional wounds ( Still on it) and decided to not get together with anyone or involve in sexual intercourse until I would meet somebody who was "ideal" in my criteria. Also I explored the part of not sexually self pleasing, but still exploring my sexual orientation by discerning what is appealing  to me watching sexual related content.

If you wonder, what is the goal of the sexually  exploring abstinence of self pleasing?

When you realize that your hormones play a real game on your mind and behavior is when you learn your real feelings behind the curtains. Also food affects  your hormones, so if you feel horny due to the substantial consumptions or foods you ate, that naturally  enhanced your hormonal sexual desire, your mind will not act pure of self love but just as an animal instinct.

Animals only feel a desire sexual instinct for reproduction and leave easily with random intentions of repeating with another else later carelessly.  Conscious human minds (Homo-sapiens) are more evolved to care in an affective commitment. When you learn to manage your hormonal behavior you start realizing life is beyond stupidity that could harm our feelings.

Next step, why learning to be by yourself in solitude?

When you learn to enjoy by yourself without an urge of sexual intercourse with someone you can learn self love, develop calm and realize that the first love should be yourself, if you can love yourself there is a chance you can love somebody else. One shouldn't be expecting anybody to love you when you learned to love yourself. So happening happening between that exploration I counted days that became years in non sexual stuff, learning to realize such a life message.

After this, I found out I could live by myself or with a significant meaningful being who really would be a fit to love accordingly. But believe me, I am still exploring and learning. I've met very little times with people in a very basic date but I was not feeling integrity to this process I have just expressed. Funny story, now that I tried to start dating again( I tried an app and somebody asked me right away, Hey tell me what is your type? So I right away responded, and right away the person  was gone) this is why the process has a meaningful impact, because when you learn to explore and love yourself you state standards for your life and live accordingly.
I believe weather you can have 150k or 150b if you love yourself and learn that loving exploration you also can radiate a loving relationship in solitude or with a reciprocal ideal person.

When I was a kid what I did intensely was to greet and approach everybody carelessly unintentionally for the sake of friendliness, and still looks cute  but back then, I had to be saved several times from being harmed, unconsciousness is not a conscious graceful behavior. When you make conscious your behavior you keep your grace but drop wrong expectations even if you have illusions, yearnings, cravings and desires, when you clarify your inner integrity to your life projection it can result as a pleasing long lasting relationship.

Pay attention to this: if I were to commit with some person seriously I am going to live a oneness togetherness life, since that is the goal ask yourself:

Does this person eats what I eat? What you eat is what you are made of, also the vital vibration state. You can eat food, content and environment. This is crucial.

Does this person have the same goals I have? Goals are the consequent mutual evolution.

Does this person shares and open fully to me with honesty?  How can trust be critical point . Everybody has defects, talk about them.

What flaws are mutually  involved? Mostly when we detect flaws and we are still loving and compassionate to what is not a 100% with us, we can say we love. Love someone even in bad days.

Between certain context there is not a need to beg or wait for anybody in a relationship or friendship over years or months, never waste yourself that way.

Everyone has a process of self discovery in life and when you force something to happen the result is not adequate, when you try to force something you are just crying for self care and self-love.

You do not need for someone to come and love you and heal you, even if someone comes and loves you and heals you but you are not ready to receive it goes to waste.

Love and healing is an inner process from you to you and life. Conciliation between you and life, between you to you, that is the real discovery one can achieve at first. I didn't mean to not be loved or not love, I meant to say that self love helps the part in learning to receive the love other can pour over you.

So, I did not start my "abstinence" because I were a priest of priestess, or owing anybody a loyalty, I just started a self realization that life is possible with respect in various levels.
And I am not trying to say that I did not feel the urge but its a process of self discovery.
I'm not condemning the sexual pleasure, I'm just digging into the self discovery process that can be possible for anyone this way.

I could say that it would be really meaningful to get together with a person that can add to your life in several integrated aspects of existence, and those should be unified in oneness, Sexually, physically, Mentally, Spiritually, emotionally, experientially, financially, educationally, evolutionally. I know that nothing is always perfect, and this is such a fantasy, but one can always try. At least self love is a beginning.

I want to end this lecture by saying that commitment is engagement, all of it starts with self love, confidence  and whatever other things are, call them as they are, but Farewell in the love life to you! 💞   

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